The sun is shining.
The air is crisp and clean.
It is blustery.
Mr. M came over before 9, having already gone to his meeting.
I am sitting at the kitchen table reading blogs and nodding in empathy and laughing and shaking my head at familiarity.
Meanwhile, Mr. M is washing windows and singing at the top of his lungs.
Drummer is already at work. Bub & Girlie are still sleeping. (There are remnants of Girlie's Harry Potter baking extravaganza of berry tarts still in the kitchen - and a lingering scent of yum hanging in the air.)
Just since I wrote this sentence, Mr. M moved on to watching Jewel play with and wrestle with and chew her "wiener" (rubber squeaking wiener dog - heehee) and he is laughing and laughing.
We have a clean slate each day if we choose to not hang on to bitterness.
I blog to work through a lot of my deepest darkest feelings so I DON'T have to vent them on Mr. M, but they are still there and I am working on trying to FEEL my feelings and not stuff them or compartmentalize but to really BE where I am. It is not always pretty, but it is helpful... I think I am more WHOLE now than I have ever been.
So today, I woke up and yes, I still have lingering feelings (like the lingering scent of Girlie's tarts) of hurt and fear.
But we both have a new opportunity.
A new day to laugh and love and try, try again.
Joy comes in the morning? (Thank You, Father, for a new day, every day.)
ReplyDeleteNice that you see the opportunity to put those bitter feelings aside. I think that realizing that is a major accomplishment towards serenity.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It sounds like it was such a beautiful day inside and out for you and your family. You've inspired me!
ReplyDeleteA good bake fest is aromatherapy, I tell ya.
ReplyDeleteSo nice to hear that you are feeling more optimistic. The affects of alcoholism, even in recovery, are draining.
It is a daily journey of CHOOSING my attitude and behaviors while still being honest about my feelings and trying to not stuff and compartmentalize and deny. A juggling act, I tell you! :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes I don't feel like I am doing that juggling too well. But I am going to celebrate the BABY STEPS :))
Thanks for your words of encouragement and support!