Friday, January 18, 2013

Sad News - Brain Cancer

I am probably going to close down my blog soon because of my recent diagnosis... and I don't want my kids to find it years after I am gone.

January 2 I went to the hospital with a headache and shortness of breath.
I have a brain tumor.
Maybe12-18 months.
I am heartbroken.  Crushed.
I don't want to miss my kids' lives.
I don't want my kids to get older with no #1 fan... everyone needs a mom!
I don't want my grandkids to grow up never having MET me.
I am sad and mad with God because my kids already haven't had a dad for so much of their lives... and even when they DO, could they COUNT on it?  (No.)
My feelings are hurt for them - their dad is an alcoholic who has missed half their lives and left them in fear... why does their MOM have to get brain cancer?!?!?

Yes, I am terrified and heart broken.
My feelings are hurt.
I am mad.
I am exhausted and frightened.