Friday, January 18, 2013

Sad News - Brain Cancer

I am probably going to close down my blog soon because of my recent diagnosis... and I don't want my kids to find it years after I am gone.

January 2 I went to the hospital with a headache and shortness of breath.
I have a brain tumor.
Deadly.
Maybe12-18 months.
I am heartbroken.  Crushed.
I don't want to miss my kids' lives.
I don't want my kids to get older with no #1 fan... everyone needs a mom!
I don't want my grandkids to grow up never having MET me.
I am sad and mad with God because my kids already haven't had a dad for so much of their lives... and even when they DO, could they COUNT on it?  (No.)
My feelings are hurt for them - their dad is an alcoholic who has missed half their lives and left them in fear... why does their MOM have to get brain cancer?!?!?
(BRAIN CANCER!)

Yes, I am terrified and heart broken.
My feelings are hurt.
I am mad.
I am exhausted and frightened.

56 comments:

  1. There are no words but I couldn't read and not comment
    Thinking of you tonight xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How To Stop A Divorce And Save Your Marriage?(Dr Brave).


      Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in TEXAS,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly email this wonderful man {bravespellcaster@gmail.com},i f you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, Thanks..

      Delete

    2. I AM DIZZY ALEX FROM UNITED KINGDOM . All Thanks Goes to DR OKAYA i was married to my husband, and we were living fine and happy. it come to an extend that my husband that use to love and care for me, those not have my time again, until i fined at that he was having an affair with another woman, i try to stop him,all my effort was in-vain sadly he divorce me and went for the woman. he live me with three of our kids, i cry all day, i was in pains, sorrow and looking for help. i was reading a news paper, i saw how DR OKAYA help people with his love and reuniting spell. so i decided to contact him and explain my problem to him, he did a love spell that make my husband to come back to me and our kids and never think of the woman. this man is God sent to restore heart break and reunite relationship. may the lord be your strength and continue to use you to save people relationship and any problem they encounter contact him for help OKAYASPELLHELP@YAHOO.COM OR OKAYASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM. i promise you that, he will Put a smile on your face and make you feel happy. good luck

      Delete
  2. I am so very sad and sorry to hear your news. I can not imagine the devastation you must be feeling. I have read every entry on your blog because our alcoholics seem so similar. Thanks for being there for so many of us. I'm wishing you strength and courage for the road ahead of you. Please find comfort in knowing that you are strong! God Bless you and your kids.

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  3. There really are no words. I am just so so very sorry. I am a reader who rarely comments but you are in my prayers. It is times like this that I wish our blogger community could rally around one of our own who is in need. ((((Hug))))

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so sorry for you, heartbreaking just heartbreaking. I have read your blog and it has helped me in so many ways. I'm not one to comment often, but this is heartbreaking.

    I have a suggestion, maybe you want to start a new blog and let your children have that as a memory of your love to them and your future grandchildren. It will be in your words, kinda like a memoir. They deserve to know what a wonderful strong person you are. I truly am sorry for you.

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  5. Oh Tearless! I wish I could hug you right now. You are so special to me. What a kind, vivacious, inspirational, honest seeker and warrior you are! And such a loving, caring mother. You have given your kids so much love and care. I feel like I know you so well from reading your beautiful, honest blog. Words you have written have touched my life and helped me so much. They run through my mind while I'm raging about my own husband and they help me process my issues with him. You have really, really, really helped me so much, from the moment I found your blog and all of the times you have offered your thoughts on my blog and my situation. I just love you and want to be there with you through this. Would you consider setting up a new blog so we can stay with you through this? Just think about it. You are so many things but you are a writer too.

    Sending much love!

    Xoxox

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  6. How are you feeing today? I'm thinking about you and praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either tearless x

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  8. I am so sorry to hear this. I am thinking of you. This is a tough thing, but I want to tell you that my cousin is still alive after being diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme five years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am beyond sad for you. I've been reading your blog for so long, and you have already been through so much. I wish there was something I could say to brighten your day, give you hope. But there is always hope. Are you going to have chemo? I will definately be thinking about you.

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  10. Just stopping by to let you know you are on my mind. I hope you don't mind, but I shared with my mother that a friend has brain cancer (don't worry, I wasn't specific). She goes to church every morning and has a couple prayer groups so she has been praying for you.

    If you feel up to it, please check in and let us know how you are doing. If you don't like it, just know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. I have followed your blog for a while now and just wanted to let you know that what you have written here has made a difference and has helped me. I will be thinking of you and your family and praying as well.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am really sorry to hear about your sad news. If you do choose to start another blog to process the feelings and fears, I am certain there will be a ton of people willing to support you. You are a good mom, your kids will always know that and be comforted by that.

    ReplyDelete
  13. just stopping by and letting you know; you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thinking of you. I am keeping you in my prayers...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hard to find words...just know I'm one more person saying prayers for you. Fight the fight for you and for those who love you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Please know in your heart and soul that you have comforted so many readers here. Know also this truth...you have changed my life and that of my husband and three children. They have a sober dad because you gave me the courage to challenge the status quo. Thank you...you will forever be in my prayers. I am humble and grateful.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are being thought of often and prayed for. (((HUG)))I wish there was more I could do.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I found your blog a few months ago when starting to cope with my own alcoholic marriage. You and your words have given me comfort, courage and hope. I wish I had the words to give back even a fraction of these things to you. I thank you, and add me to the list of those praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thinking of you, Tearless. Sending hugs.

    October O Nine

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh. I am lifting you up right this minute, dear one, and your children.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I have just tonight found your blog. I want you to know how much it helped me to read it. It TRULY helped me. And then I read this part. I am sending you love and I will pray for you and your sweet babies and your husband. I so wish I had words to help. Breaks my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Just stopping by to let you know you are in my thoughts, Tearless.

    XO

    October O Nine

    ReplyDelete
  23. I have read this book and found it very productive. Thanks for sharing the extraordinary knowledge.
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    ReplyDelete
  24. hi tearless - i spent the better part of today reading your blog. you are a great writer... have made me laugh, concerned, and now heartbroken for you. i am an alcoholic, just 4 months into recovery. i came across your blog seeking encouragement for why i cannot relapse - trying to get the partner's perspective. you really have helped me to be much much more mindful of what i will put my husband through if i ever put him through this madness again. as exhausting and gut wrenching as it is to go through the alcoholic mania, i see it is a thousand times worse for the person who loves an alcoholic. thank you for your perspectove and your wisdom. your family is very lucky to have you. i'm very sorry for your diagnosis and wish you the very best. ~elaine

    ReplyDelete
  25. It was really a heart touching blog,I read your full blog for a long time.It was very bad experience. there are many families in World who faces such a incident.I really thankful to you for sharing such a bad experience with us.God bless you and your family.
    Marriage|Shaddi|Vivah

    ReplyDelete
  26. I just want you to know that your words on this blog have impacted me, and many many more. And some of us are still just finding our way to you. I am so, SO sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Life is so incredibly unfair. You are a beautiful writer and have a beautiful soul. I wish you nothing but love and comfort in your coming days. You are light for so many, and you always will be!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dr Fredda Branyon and I understands your situation. I just want you to always remember this "God gives his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers" keep up and focused. Everything's going to be fine soon. Have a nice day!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I don't know you but my heart is in pain for you. I am divorcing my alcoholic husband and it is painful. It was a painful life. I understand you I get you. The pain of this new news is even more unbearable and its ok to be mad. Its ok to feel like its not fair. It isn't. I believe in God and a reason for every thing. And although its so easy to blame him, I don't believe he would do anything that would be intentionally cruel. He is love. You will feel peace if not in this life then the next and that in itself is a blessing. You are not alone. Thank you for you posts you have helped me more than you know. You have helped so many people. your life here is not in vain. You have left a legacy. Try Beyoncé's song "I was here" that I you!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Checking in with you, Tearless. You are on my mind. Sending prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  30. So very sorry for all you are going through and while I'm sure this is the least of your worries, thought you and your readers would rather know that Ms. Burns (2 above) has been hijacking blogs/posts with the word "cancer" in the title (including mine)to push her agenda with Branyon...who, as it turns out is NOT a doctor, but rather, a criminal! Fredda Branyon of Scottsdale, Arizona, has made thousands off sick and desperate individuals, thinks. Ms. Branyon started buying umbilical cords and cord blood tissue from a Del Rio birthing center in 2009. Then, with no training regarding stem cell development or the legal ability to do so, she manufactured hundreds of vials of "stem cells". She sold 183 vials of "stem cells" for more than $300,000, to Francisco Morales, who worked with the lab she owned, Global Laboratories. Morales, in turn, led his patients to believe he was a doctor (he isn't) and was arrested in Texas for treating people with cancer and multiple sclerosis in "treatments" not approved by the FDA. Branyon pleaded guilty during an investigation by the FDA and FBI in 2011. She was facing 3 years in jail and a $10,000 fine. I hope she is cooling her heels in prison as I write.
    Wishing you the best.

    ReplyDelete
  31. hiya tearless. still think of you all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  33. Really heart touching story again we know about unconditional love between father and children.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Just checking in to say hello, Tearless. How are you feeling? Sending love.
    Xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am so so sorry to hear this news. As someone who is searching for some answers and help dealing with my own similar issues with a loved one who is alcoholic, I can across your blog recently and read many posts. I cannot believe your last post after all of the effort you have put into your family. It seems so cruel but please please you have to have hope that something unexpected may happen. I am praying for you and send you all my love.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Prayed for you and your babies tonight. I'm so sorry. I just found your blog tonight. I need to stop sugar coating my husbands alcoholism. I'm lonely and heart broken. :( I will keep praying for y'all. Thank God I have Jesus...I know that sounds corny to most but it's the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I wanted to thank you for your blog, I really can relate to your shares. You are such a strong person and I pray you find the strength and support to help you through. Sending you a hug and love!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hallo your blog has really helped me.Just thinking of you from Africa and hoping you are ok.Do you have support from your family with all you are going through?Do not lose hope you have touched so many people in so many places.... Lots of prayers for you.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I dropped by for the first time, just now. I had to reply. Are you still with us?? I'm so sorry for your illness. You have my prayers.

    It would be great hearing from you. Your family will be held up with my prayers, too. May God watch over you and your loved ones.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I've never commented but your blog touched me to my core. I wanted you to know that it helped me to feel not so alone. It's been almost a year since we heard from you. How are you? :( prayers for you and yours....

    ReplyDelete

  41. i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he traditional spell hospital casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you traditional spell hospital for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Thank you for your words. I hope you and your family are well.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I don't even know you and I miss you. I don't want to BE you so yep, this is it. I'm getting away from my drunk. I hope God is holding you right now.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Please tell me you're ok. I just read youre first 2 inspirational blogs and replied (super long message). I don't understand why this kind of BS happens to people who have suffered enough most their lives, yet that alcoholic or drug addict (pick your poison ugh I've dealt with both) waste of air who has ruined the family and broken u into unrecognizable pieces still go thru life with no consequences. You know a strange thought just occurred to me...maybe (bear with me) God leaves them alone on earth to suffer realizing they are now completely alone and that bottle that was so d**n important doesn't comfort, talk, love, laugh. Yea I think thats it, as terrible as this is for you, maybe you're being freed. You will b freeeeee! Free from this bondage, no more abuse, no more lies, no more hurt, just love. And that my friend is what you deserve after so much hurt. P.S. if anyone knows if she is ok or has passed please respond.

    ReplyDelete
  45. How To Stop A Divorce And Save Your Marriage?(Dr Brave).


    Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in TEXAS,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly email this wonderful man {bravespellcaster@gmail.com},i f you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, Thanks..

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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  48. I cannot believe this, my husband is back, i am greatful to see my husband returned with full force, Mr Robinson made this miracle to happen, Happiness has come to me at last, I am very pleased to say things are going well, I truly believe this spell has made difference in my relationship, Mr Robinson is truly gifted, I will recommend to anybody who's looking for a serious spell caster to cast a love spell him or her should contact this email robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com or call Mr Robinson + 19715126745, he wont disappointed you if you ask him to help you. All I want to say is that this spell caster MADE MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

    ReplyDelete
  49. GREAT FATHER



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    ReplyDelete
  50. i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr okojie for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they caste the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr okojie caste on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr okojie for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact drokojiehealinghome@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. he is specialized in solving of other problems including the following:
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    ReplyDelete
  51. GREAT DR. OFEMO THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP. Good Day everybody,
    My name is Lena Adams.am from the United State of America,This is a very happy day of my life with the help of Dr.Ofemo has rendered to me by helping me to get my divorce husband back with his magic power and love spell. i was married for 8 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me, and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Ofemo email on the internet on how he help so many people to get their ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good.he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before,and He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really happy with my marriage, what a great celebration. thank you Dr Ofemo who helped a lot, if you need his help you can contact him through email:drofemospelltemple@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website on http://drofemospelltemple.webs.com.

    ReplyDelete
  52. GREAT DR. OFEMO THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP. Good Day everybody,
    My name is Lena Adams.am from the United State of America,This is a very happy day of my life with the help of Dr.Ofemo has rendered to me by helping me to get my divorce husband back with his magic power and love spell. i was married for 8 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me, and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Ofemo email on the internet on how he help so many people to get their ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good.he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before,and He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really happy with my marriage, what a great celebration. thank you Dr Ofemo who helped a lot, if you need his help you can contact him through email:drofemospelltemple@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website on http://drofemospelltemple1.webs.com/

    ReplyDelete
  53. My lover is back with the great help of DR OKAYA who helped me cast a spell that brought him back to my arms, in just two days. My lover left me with our only kid and now they are back, once again i want to thank DR OKAYA for his wonderful spell am now a happy woman. you can contact the great spell caster on his email: Okayaspellhelp@gmail.com for more help or you can still reach him on his phone number in person on +234 8078291904 for more advise

    ReplyDelete