This mom thought she was miscarrying but it was a rare, very aggressive cancer. She almost bled to death on the operating table and had to have an emergency hysterectomy. She had 2 different chemos that did not work and the last one was HELL but seems to have worked and she now has no evidence of disease.
I wasn't dying because she had cancer because she is NED right now.
I wasn't crying over her loss of hair - hair grows back.
I wasn't even crying over how SWEETLY they included their little girl.
I was crying because her Mom shaved her head with her. What a great mom! THAT'S the kind of Mom I want to be.
I was also crying because her husband was SO there for her. She was not alone. He looked so deeply affected and sad... yet he was there and supportive. I think I was crying because I was moved by that. And I also think I was crying because I do not know WHO would be there for me like that.
I can relate to this post but what really struck me was your sorrow about the supportive husband and who in your life would be there for you. I go through this a lot with my sponsor. My sorrow that I don't have a warm, supportive husband and it makes me feel like I must not have the same stuff to offer as the other women who have unconditionally loving husbands. She told me I won't get it from him because he is incapable of that (I know, not a breaking news story) but she offered that my kids love me unconditionally and that's where I will get it from.
ReplyDeleteI will bet your kids would be there for you!
XO
Hi E!
DeleteThat is a good point about what I believe having a husband like mine says about ME and my worth and value (or lack).
I have never wanted ask that of my kids... I have been so stringent about being the"grown up" (I am not sure if this is good/bad/neutral, but it has been a big thing with me). So I have TRIED to do this with friends and am definitely working on it in therapy. When my grief is prickled by things like this video, I am trying to be nice to myself and just notice that it brought up feelings in me instead of stuffing them down and fixing them. STINKY sometimes :/
xo