Election '08

I do not want my alcoholic marriage blog to be political or religious.

It is more about:

• my very personal journey through codependency, 
  
• my spiritual journey, 
  
• how I deal with my human-ness(temptations, discouragement, doubts, fears) in the face of my desire to follow God's will and be all that I believe He wants me to be,
  
• my pains and heartbreaks and hopelessness in being married to a chronic relapser,
  
• sprinklings of stories from my childhood,
  
• dashes of recipes to warm your tummy and soul,
  
• strange insights into myself,
  
• a chronicle of my therapy,
  
• snippets of parenting/kid stories
  

                                         

That said, I feel that as we progress toward the election, I MUST say a few words.  

I find myself NOT wanting to watch TV or read the news. 

I just want it to be over and to know our fate.  

I am distressed by our media's obvious bias.  

I am saddened by our vote for the popular, the charismatic, and the slogan instead of the TRUTH.  

I am disheartened by our country's fall from standing up for what is RIGHT.  

Even so-called "Christians" are compromising and siding with people who believe it is OK to kill a baby in the 7th-9th month of pregnancy.  

Where has common decency gone?  

Where have our morals gone?  

Where has our commitment to remembering the non-negotiables gone?

A questions has recently arisen about Obama's birth certificate.

I am not saying these concerns are true, but I am saying that IF there are legitimate concerns about ANY candidate's (from ANY party) citizenship status, wouldn't you think the candidate would want to be accountable to the American public and SHOW us that there is not ground for concern?

I asked this recently in an email and sent it out to my voting friends of all persuasions.

the reactions surprised me (although I guess they shouldn't have).

No Obama voters wanted the truth.

They all said it was a smear campaign against him.

PERIOD.

Since when did asking a QUESTION become a "smear tactic"?

I feel like we live in comunism/socialism  (see definitions below) already!

Yikes!

COMMUNISM - As a political movement, communism is a more radical branch of the broader socialist movement. The communist movement differentiates itself from other branches of the socialist movement through their wish to completely do away with all aspects of market society under the final stage of the system and their focus on the international working class as key in that revolution. 
FACISM - A social and political ideology with the primary guiding principle that the state or nation is the highest priority, rather than personal or individual freedoms.  A political movement that believes in an extreme form of nationalism: denying individual rights, insisting upon the supremacy of the state, and advocating one-party rule with ultimate authority resting in the hands of an elite few.
SOCIALISM - An economic system in which the basic means of production are primarily owned and controlled collectively, usually by government under some system of central planning.

Well, it will all be over soon. 

One way or the other.

Alltop.com

Great newish website:  Alltop

Directly from their website, this is what they say their purpose is.

"We help you explore your passions by collecting stories from “all the top” sites on the web. We’ve grouped these collections — “aggregations” — into individual Alltop sites based on topics such as environment, photography, science, Muslim, celebrity gossip, military, fashion, gaming, sports, politics, automobiles, and Macintosh. At each Alltop site, we display the headlines of the latest stories from dozens of sites and blogs.

You can think of an Alltop site as a “digital magazine rack” of the Internet. To be clear, Alltop sites are starting points—they are not destinations per se. The bottom line is that we are trying to enhance your online reading by both displaying stories from the sites that you’re already visiting and helping you discover sites that you didn’t know existed. In other words, our goal is the “cessation of Internet stagnation” by providing “aggregation without aggravation.”

Visit... it is great!  

I can't wait until they add more and more topics!

Of course, coming from an alcoholic marriage, one I would like to immediately see added is addiction.alltop.com.

If you agree, please email them at info@alltop.com and send them your own version of my email below.

Alltop, 
I would like to suggest addiction.alltop.
This could have info on many aspects of addiction including:
drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, shopping, gambling, eating, sex, codependency, families of addicts, and 12 step programs.  As well as some lucrative, income generating areas such as 
recovery programs & interventionists and anti-addiction medications etc.
Thanks for your consideration!

Blog Friends - Rhonda McPost

Back in my very first post from February 7, 2008 titled "My Alcoholic Husband", I received a comment that I think is worth sharing and since it was on such an old post, I thought it would likely get overlooked.

Rhonda Mc said

"I know exactly how you feel. I divorced my alcoholic husband of 24 years and regret it. What I can tell you is he is sick and does not choose to be a drunk and we, the social drinker, can NOT fathom that.

"Go get help for your part of the problem. Enabling. Go to Al-Anon really learn what we do wrong as wives of loving alcoholics. He has to want to fix himself and be a responsible adult. J ust as you have to take responsibilty for your actions.

"They are caring loving feeling human beings just as we are and if I can save your marriage I hope you will stop listening to your emotions and get a real grasp on alcoholism acceptance, faith, love for yourself and your husband.

"Think of him as a good friend that is very sick. Do not berate him. I know it is hard to understand but, just keep learning how to be responsible for yourself and leave his alcoholism to him.

"Do not bail him out of jams or degrade him to himself, your families, the kids, frends, or co workers. Do not buy into the denial and lies be aloof and detach with love.

"Trust me, agree with him when he says something... his feelings are just as valid as yours, because he FEELS that way. My ex says I didn't respect him. He is right. How could I? He'd go to bars with the neighbors, been in two rehabs and was sober for 10 years - a "dry drunk" they call it. I nor you are the cause of his drinking we can not cure their drinking and we can not control their drinking.

"Get a life of your own, not for vengeance, for peace of mind. Go to movies get a group of girl friends and play bunco cards whatever.
"Be respectful of yourself and your spouse and your marriage. They are the men we chose to marry and they are good men who are addicted to alcohol because they have something they don't like about themselves.

"If you are like me and have been married 20+ years they are all we know and we have been molded to the way they treat us. This is not normal but, if you change yourself and stop concentrating on him, your life will improve and you have twelve months to get it right.

"I envy you. I don't have that chance I had to divorce as he did not care about me and I allowed his drinking to destroy me and I am having a hard time with the decision I made. I never should've divorced him but, I never should've allowed this to happen to me in the first place. I am a good wife and mother and I deserve respect love honor trust faithfulness committment and fun and you do too. So does he.

"If you want something from your husband tell him lovingly. Hold my hand honey and let's go ... give him a kiss goodmorning and good night tell him how much you appreciate his help and that you are proud of him.

"Think about never seeing loving or touching your husband again.   Find that love that God has for all of us. We are codependents we are sometimes sicker than the alcoholic because we are addicted to the alcoholic. 

"I know first hand what you are going through and if I can help you not make the same mistakes I made, then I have done something. 

... "It's painful either way but, learn all you can about alcoholism go to an open AA meeting I learned a lot.   They lie and believe their own lies and until they stop the denial and lies themselves there is NOTHING you can do but, heal yourself and get a sponsor of your own.  Trust me. It works. 

"Keep strong and remember why you married him, because love is deeper thn anything and God commands us to forgive 7 times 70 and wants us to love one another more than anything. 

"God be with you and your husband.   Don't give up... get over the emotions and think with your head.   You are not crazy just an enabling co dependent. They are adults and can get themselves out of their own mess they need wives not Mommas! 

"Now if you have other enablers and they are not willing to stop enabling (as my in-laws weren't) then ask your sponsor for help as we have control over no one but ourselves. I love my in-laws but, they turned their backs on me and I have to accept their denial and betrayal no matter how hurt angry and devastated I am,  if I keep haboring resentment I am only hurting myself.  Stop the negativity and pity party and get the help YOU need for you and your kids. 

"I hope this helped. I am right where you are. Divorce is a cop out and he asked me for a divorce and I gave it to him and I wish I would've never done that and let him file because he never would've had the guts to. How do I know that? He came back after 7 months of partying and when I told him I had filed that was it. I then asked him to work at our marriage and became weak in his eyes and I don't want that to happen to you. If you work keep working,  if not get a job. You do it for yourself and your kids. Not to hurt or punish your alcoholic husband. You both are responsible and need to be accountable for your actions. You are NOT there to point out his flaws. Look at your flaws and fix yourself. Trust me you can always go back to your old ways. God bless you and your family. Rhonda Mc"

Good stuff Rhonda!  Thanks for the comment.

Keep 'em coming!