We got home from seeing the movie "Hugo" (me, Mr. M, Bub & Girlie).
I asked him about his schedule for the next day.
The plan is to go to church at 2PM for Christmas service.
Mr. M's dad is coming over to drop off gifts and pick up their gifts at 3:45 (since I am not on speaking terms with Mr. M's mother, going on 4 years now!).
At 5:30, Drummer's soon-to-be-fiancee and her whole family (2 brothers, dad, dad's fiancee, and fiancee's son) come over along with my folks and siblings.
We will eat dinner. (Our new tradition is that we are going to eat all our favorite appetizers for dinner - yum!)
We will read the story of Jesus' birth from the Bible... we pass the Bible around and each take a turn reading a few lines from the story.
Then we each take a turn sharing some things we are thankful for from the past year and some things we are hopeful for in the coming year. We start off in the darkness and as our turn comes, we light a candle. Little by little the room and our little group gets lighter and lighter.
When we are done we have sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus and have birthday cake.
This all started when our kids were very little - our way of bringing a little spiritual emphasis into the consumer extravaganza :)
All that long explanation to say we have a LONG and full day.
I am including Mr. M in it (unlike Thanksgiving when he had mere minutes sober).
I asked that he please go to a MORNING meeting tomorrow instead of a "nooner" since we have such a full day.
He was bothered and said he would go when he wanted and more or less told me to butt out.
He accused me of not supporting his program!
He has all week to sleep in (he schedules his jobs later in the day so he can sleep).
He goes to a NIGHT meeting monday, tuesday, wednesday, and thursday nights. I have asked that he please go to morning meetings Friday and Saturday so he can be with us in the evenings. Sunday we do church in the morning and he has been doing a nooner.
I am TRULY nothing but supportive. I don't say anything about how much time he spends in meetings.
I completely realize that without meetings we do not have him AT ALL.
For him to accuse ME of not supporting him SLAYS me.
That he could storm out angrily is beyond me.
I am also feeling bothered that he would even want to argue with me about it... I kind of feel like he should be happy I am being with him every day and letting him come over every day and completely 100% "made up" with him and he is coming to Christmas!!!!!!
And yet, on the other hand, I don't want him to live in shame, "owing" me forever.
But would a little perspective and reality check on his part be OK?
Sheesh!
My way of setting a boundary for me was to decide that he is right, he can go to a meeting whenever he wants. But I don't want him here and then leaving. I want him to come and stay so as he left, I told him to not come over tomorrow until 1:45 when we are leaving for church. Then he has the whole morning to do as he pleases (as usual in Mr. M's world... he only has himself to worry about). He can join us when he is ready to participate.
Now, I want to call him and engage him in a 'discussion' (a fight?).
But I am not going to.
I am writing this post then going to sleep.
I had been feeling so cheerful and Christmasy today so it was a bummer way to end it. (I love Christmas shopping and Christmas music and Decorations and Lights and Crowds and all of it - PLUS we had spectacular weather today; crisp air, blue sky, bright sunshine, a perfect balance of chilly yet warm!)
I am hoping this doesn't ruin Christmas or serve as an excuse for him to relapse (does he CREATE fights SO that he can relapse????) It sucks to have to live in fear of that...
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