My therapist is GONE next week!!! I have been WANTING a break. And yet I am SO sad he is gone and I have to miss a week. Where is he going? What is he doing? Vacation? Going somewhere? Or just staying home with the new baby? I know NOTHING about him and his life.
We actually spent some time addressing that.
We talked about how I need money (collect it - in a pile) and how I collect friends (in a pile?). And how I need to hook people in to needing me (so they won't leave me). I am a good listener. I want people to want to tell me everything and depend on me. I want to be funny and entertaining and delightful and ____________. So they will want to keep me around. My therapist asked me how I do that in therapy (how does that come out in my relationship with him?)
I told him that I don't know anything about him... I offer him nothing. I am not funny or delightful. I probably just try to be the best therapy "patient" in the world. Maybe by crying or working really hard and facing my shit etc. So he will think I am really super great.
And each week, when I leave, there is a hatchet-faced lady in the waiting room waiting for her turn to see him. I don't like her. I had to leave because SHE wants to come in. I want to give her the "stink eye" when I walk out. (I have less a problem with people leaving so I can some in... I am some how OK with that because they are vacating so I can enter... but I have an issue with me having to leave so SHE can come in... yep... I don't like her.)
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