Who I Want To Be

I want to be a fun, funky, whimsical, delightful person.

I'm not.

I am actually fairly crabby, anal retentive, controlling, fearful, and rigid.

Some things that make me feel like my best person are:

The saying "Follow Your Bliss"

The Happy Woman Store - Everything in it - just being on the website - makes me happy.

I want to write these books (books that look and feel like this):

I want to be a person who puts these on her luggage, not because she WANTS to be fun and funky or is TRYING to be whimsical and delightful, but because she IS:

I am almost 40 and I want to be able to embrace it in the free "when I am an old woman, I shall wear purple" kind of a way (and I want to say words like "shall" in every day conversation that doesn't sound old fashioned and prude, but whimsical and funky). I want to be "old enough to smell the roses, young enough to be in love, and wise enough to let it be".

I DELIGHT in the saying "I am fairly certain that given a cap and a nice tiara, I could save the world."

I adore the work of photographer Tara Whitney, and her eye and the way she sees the world... she has a great professional website and also a great blog. I want to be like the people in all her photographs. Looking at them makes me jealous, I confess. I want to have chalkboard-faced cabinets in my kitchen and fun friends and kids who write on them. Ahhhh... just click and enjoy her eye and her brain and her.

As a Christian I feel guilty about liking "The Secret", but I do. I don't like or agree with all the new agey "we are all god" crap, but I DO like the reminders:

be grateful

what you focus on expands

you teach people how to treat you

when things hurt or are tough you ask "what can I learn from this"

live excited for the next great thing God is going to bring into your life

Ask. Believe. Receive.

I even like this encouraging video... It is a terrific daily reminder.

I adore Beth Moore's Bible teaching.... I am moved by God's bigness and goodness when I sit under her teaching (on DVD) and I also get a kick out of her Living Proof Ministries blog.

Helen Keller said 'Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.' Wow!... no really, Wow!... read that again.

'Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.'

Seriously?

My life is not a daring adventure right now... it is a fearful, closed little hermit crab of a life. I want to live a daring, reckless, wide open, breathless, full of wonder life!

I want to be a person that has people over to my home and yard to eat and laugh even if my house is not decorated perfectly or I don't have a pool or I am not a great cook... I just want there to be a spirit of home and hospitality.

Even though I am in an alcoholic marriage, there is still room for delight and whimsy and freedom. I feel like I will be grateful and blessed and OK if I can become this type of person... maybe I should give it a try and see...