I have always been an "otter" ("sanguine", in the whole personality type world - if you believe in that). My "otterness" (if you will) is an immutable fact. It is one of the things I KNOW in my life. A playful, fun-loving, very social creature, I love people. I enjoy
being popular and influencing and motivating others. I am hurt when people do not like me. I like to surround myself with
friends, but not necessarily deep relationships. I love to goof-off. Otters are notorious for messy rooms. (HELLO?!?) I like to hurry and finish jobs (and these jobs are often not done well). I am like Tigger in Winnie The Pooh.
My Strengths?: People person, open, positive
Weaknesses?: Talk too much, too permissive
Limitation: Remembering past commitments, follow through with discipline!
I have always known I have "lion" (choleric) undertones - secondary characteristics that raise their heads in certain circumstances.
Lions like to lead. The lion is good at making decisions and is very goal-oriented. They enjoy challenges, difficult assignments, and opportunity for advancement. Because lions are thinking of the goal, they can step on people to reach it. Lions can be very aggressive and competitive. Lions must learn not to be too bossy or to take charge in other's affairs.
Strength: Goal-oriented, strong, direct
Weakness: Argumentative, too dictatorial
Limitation: Doesn't understand that directness can hurt others, hard time expressing grace
I LOVE Golden Retrievers (phlegmatic) and always wanted to be one... but no one (including myself) has ever believed I was one.
Good at making friends. Very loyal. Retriever personalities do not like big changes. They look for security. Can be very sensitive. Very caring. Has deep relationships, but usually only a couple of close friends. Wants to be loved by everyone. Looks for appreciation. Works best in a limited situation with a steady work pattern.
Strength: Accommodating, calm, affirming
Weakness: Indecisive, indifferent, unable to express emotions, too soft on other people
Limitation: Seeing the need to be more assertive, holding others accountable
While I appreciate Beavers (melancholy), many of their awesome strengths and character traits and their weaknesses and limitations make me itch.
Organized. Beavers think that there is a right way to do everything and they want to do it exact that way. Beaver personalities desire to solve everything. Desire to take their time and do it right. Beavers do not like sudden changes. They need reassurance.
Strength: High standards, order, respect
Weakness: Unrealistic expectations of self & others, too perfect.
Limitation: Seeing the optimistic side of things, expressing flexibility
(More details about these animal personalities, based on Gary Smalley's writings, can be found on this website.)
Anyhow, I just went in with Mr. M (my alcoholic husband) and had a session with HIS therapist. His therapist is into these personality types. So we briefly discussed them. He was 'educating' me about them. It took a lot of self control to not try to jump in a prove that I am knowledgeable about this topic (I am forever wanting to be seen as educated and knowledgeable... It is easy for me to come off as a bit of a know-it-all... in fact, it is HUGE growth for me to admit I don't know stuff!). I did not tell him that I have spoken to audiences of thousands about this topic. I have led workshops on this topic. I am kind of a bit of an EXPERT on this topic.
Anyhow, I told him I was familiar. I told him I was an otter. He said HE is an otter. But at the end of the session, he told me he didn't think I was an otter. He thought I was GOLDEN RETRIEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This rocked my world!
Really!
Regardless of whether these personality traits are 'real' or not, they do have SOME usefulness and in this arbitrary categorization of human personalities, I have always been seen as an otter. that said, am I an otter?
Have I changed?
People used to always KNOW and SAY I was an otter.
Now, this trained therapist who believes in and values these personality labels and types is saying I am a Golden Retriever!
Did I just act like an otter because it worked? It served the purpose of making people like me and want to be my friend?
Was I never really an otter to begin with?
Am I really a Golden Retriever?
Or am I truly an otter and am becoming more of a 'golden retriever' because I am so hurt and broken?
What about the Lion part? Typically, Lion & otter can be compatible, but Golden retriever and Lion are not.
So, if I am truly a Golden retriever, I cannot be part Lion too (and I feel like there is a lot of lion in me, but I have had to tone this down to be more socially acceptable).
None of this really MEANS anything, it is just more of an interesting observation on how I have changed and how perceptions of me have changed.
I guess that means growth and change.
And this is a good thing.
Right?
