Running on Empty

I feel like my life as the wife of an alcoholic is one big roller coaster.  

One minute (literally) I am feeling good and looking forward to the future... I am grateful and excited and passionate.  

The next minute (literally) I am sad and grieving and hurt and lonely and bitter and hopeless.  

I long for a little consistency instead of being so at the mercy of my wacked out emotions.  

But I know God is going to use this season of running on empty for His glory and I am trusting Him to grow me and change me and scrape the yuckiness from me so he can look into my life and see Himself reflected a little more.   So I will walk through this valley if He wants me to.

If You Want Me To

By Ginny Owens

"The pathway is broken
and The signs are unclear
and I don't know the reason why You brought me here. 
But just because You love me the way that You do - 
I'm gonna walk through the valley
if You want me to. 

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
when I took my first step
and I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet. 
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You, 
then I will go through the fire
if You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
when you lead me through a world that's not my home. 
But You never said it would be easy, 
You only said I'd never go alone. 

So When the whole world turns against me
and I'm all by myself
and I can't hear You answer my cries for help, 
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through, 
and I will go through the darkness 

if You want me to. 

When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout,
gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down.
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to You
and I will walk through the valley 

if you want me to. 

Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to."

Click here to Listen to this song.