He will move back in for a few weeks to heal and recover and so I can help him.
He is feeling sad and discouraged about his injury, the long healing time (8 weeks in a sling!!!), and how SLOW his business is.
I am having to practice tolerating my discomfort when he is miserable.
I mean, he has a lot to be sad and angry and stressed about right now... those are his feelings. Feelings are not bad. They are feelings.
* I wrote about a temptation I was having with another man (a client) in this post. I also asked that if anyone reading was the praying type that they might PRAY for God's intervention and protection.
Can I just say that our HP answers in personal ways AND has a sense of humor!?
This client is significantly older than I am (16+ years). I am not really attracted to him (don't get me wrong, he is an attractive and friendly and nice guy, he's just much older and not my "type") - but I am vulnerable and fragile and it is just so NICE to be desired and sought after.
We FINALLY got another lunch on the calendar.
It was coming.
And then OUT OF THE BLUE he texts me and asks about hearing aids (because he is a client... this is a work issue).
HEARING AIDS?? I ask if he is asking for himself of one of his dependents or employees (this makes a difference with coverage). He says THE HEARING AIDS ARE FOR HIM!!!!!!
To clarify - there is NOTHING wrong with hearing aids. I could be attracted to someone with hearing aids. If Mr. M got hearing aids, that would just be part of life as we age together. But something in me just CLICKED. He is 16 years older than me. What am I thinking? This is weird!
It was just the wake up call I had been praying for.
My attraction just instantly ended.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I had NO IDEA I would have this reaction... but my HP did.
Thank you HP.
And thank you if you happened to have prayed for me.
The day eventually came to confirm our lunch and I didn't but he did.
He said he had been WANTING to have a picnic (?!?!) but the rain had thwarted him (thanks again HP! ;)
We went to the same restaurant. He put his HANDS ON MY WAIST and leans in to kiss me. I turn and offer my cheek.
Then our server comes and she is training a new server who is a FRIEND of mine from CHURCH! - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Accountability (Thanks AGAIN, HP!)... I introduce him to her.
Then, the coup de grace; I mention that one of my REALLY dear friends has recently started attending his pretty small church (where he is a leader and friends with the Pastor and his whole family) and they just LOVE the awesome community they have there! (I don't know WHY this never occurred to me to mention before... but NOW my HP brings it to my mind!) Our lunch was lovely and friendly and perfectly devoid of any "charge" of attraction. We talked about his church marriage retreat he planned. We talked about his vacation. We talked about his daughter's wedding. then we said good-bye and he hugged me platonically.
I have to say, I am QUITE tickled.
*
That's quite an age difference. Glad that you have listened to your HP. And yes, there is a sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that your HP walked you through that one. When I read the earlier post I just thought, "Ohhhh that will not end well." Your HP loves you so much, enough to guide you and direct you away from trouble and you are smart enough and sensitive enough to listen! Good job!
ReplyDeleteSending prayers and strengh that you will stay comfortable while Mr. M. recovers at your home!
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny with the hearing aids! Thanks for the laugh. You're right, it's not exactly the hearing aids themselves but the message behind them.
Finally, glad you are feeling less stress and ambivalence regarding Temptation Man. You got to have the attention from him without the discruption to you life. Win! Win! You still got it goin' on, Girl!
my dear...your life is similar to a novel! and yes! There is sense of humor! that's very positive =) Hope Mr M. gets better
ReplyDeletePD: by the way, you wrote me once and your comment was marked as spam, dont know why :-S Sorry! =)
I know exactly what you are referring to when you mention the hearing aids. Sometimes there are just those things that make us say, "HELL NO!"
ReplyDeleteSo, hearing aids = old age?
ReplyDeleteAs someone who deals with hearing impairment I really regret that you hold this stereotype (Maybe your HP was saying more about how you justify your life choices than about the decision you thought it applied to)
At least this person still wants to hear and listen to his world in two way communication, unlike many who deny their hearing loss, becoming isolated and depressed and blaming others for their problem.
Funnily enough they don't mind wearing obvious, in-your-face metal, plastic and glass optical devices?
So, how's your hearing?
Karen C
Karen,
ReplyDeleteI apologize if my comment offends.
Obviously my HP was working with what He knew would work with me... whatever my limitations or issues... He know me (intimately) and knew it would affect me - regardless of my motives or possibly skewed perceptions.
In my defense, I DID say in my post - "To clarify - there is NOTHING wrong with hearing aids. I could be attracted to someone with hearing aids. If Mr. M got hearing aids, that would just be part of life as we age together. But something in me just CLICKED. He is 16 years older than me. What am I thinking? This is weird!"
It was NOT the hearing aids... it was just those that snapped me out of my wacky and unhealthy thinking pattern - thankfully! (I am glad my HP used what He knew would work with me ;)
Kristin - thanks for your support... you comment made me laugh out loud!
Thanks Annette! I too knew it would not end well... sooooo glad I was protected from myself AND that my relationship with this client who I DO like was preserved!
Anne Frank - Thank you :)
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteAs always, your insight hits the nail on the head!
Syd,
:)