I am doing it anonymously so I can say what I want to say, how I want to say it.
Trouble is, people pleaser and tap dancer that I am, I think I need an audience.
I thought I could do it like a diary... with a little, tiny lock and a teensy key tucked under the mattress, where no one could find it and no one could read it and that would be fine.
Only I find myself wanting to tell people I am blogging and then I even catch myself looking for comments... only I don't think one other living person on the planet has ever even visited my blog. I KNOW I have only been blogging a couple of weeks... but I NEED someone to see it. I NEED you to read it.
Even seemingly uncaring bloggers CARE if you read their stuff. Case in point, Violent Acres.
She is clearly entertained by her own supposed lack of caring and "poor impulse control", but I doubt if she would continue badgering "mommy bloggers" with the same zest and verve if she had no audience. I simply can't imagine her secret expletive filled diary hidden under her childless mattress complaining about people's fat, horrible undisciplined children. I am not out to make enemies with her - I am utterly entertained by her writing and grateful she DOES want to write for an audience! Which is exactly my point... SO DO I! I may not be as crackling and incisive a writer as V or as funny and sparkling as _______________ (I'll fill this in later), but maybe I can be my own brand of great when I get out of my pathetic "my heart is breaking" and "my 20 year long prison of a marriage is killing me" slump.
She is clearly entertained by her own supposed lack of caring and "poor impulse control", but I doubt if she would continue badgering "mommy bloggers" with the same zest and verve if she had no audience. I simply can't imagine her secret expletive filled diary hidden under her childless mattress complaining about people's fat, horrible undisciplined children. I am not out to make enemies with her - I am utterly entertained by her writing and grateful she DOES want to write for an audience! Which is exactly my point... SO DO I! I may not be as crackling and incisive a writer as V or as funny and sparkling as _______________ (I'll fill this in later), but maybe I can be my own brand of great when I get out of my pathetic "my heart is breaking" and "my 20 year long prison of a marriage is killing me" slump.
I don't know how to get noticed or read.
Aside from my extremely limited knowledge of SEO work which wants you to have many links leading to your site (I have... only probably in the range of... let me see...um... NONE). And repeat your tags over and over and the Google "spider" will crawl and find you. So I just went through all my previous posts and shamelessly added in the term "alcoholic marriage" in both the tags and the body. Plus, I will repeat it here several times in a row. Please bear with me and know that I might not be that great an alcoholic marriage writer (yet?) but I am not as bad as I may appear in my current alcoholic marriage state. Because alcoholic marriage or not, if you actually ever make it to my site to read it, I'd better give you something worth staying for. Don't give up on me and my ramblings about my alcoholic marriage... hang in there. I may get better. And add sparkling, incisive, crackling, funny comments... that will DEFINITELY make it better! (And maybe we can make this another mini on-line Al-Anon meeting!)
