Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My Secret Blog

This is my secret blog.

I have a "real" blog that people can see that has family photos and updates about kids sports and plays and proms and birthdays.
I guess I shouldn't call it my "real" blog, I should call it my public blog.

It IS real... it is all real and good and important stuff... but so is this one.
It is real too.
it is real.
Both are real.
Secret stuff and public stuff are both real.

This one is associated with a secret email address and is anonymous so I have to keep myself signed out all the time and then I get lazy about signing out of my "public" blog and then secretly signing onto this one and then making sure I log out of this one etc.  So sometimes I get lazy about coming here and writing this one.
And maybe I like to forget these things... the alcoholic family things.  
Maybe I kinda like to pretend this is all "in the past" and just linger on the "public" blog stuff (the sports, proms, plays, and parties).

But again, both are real and true.

When I come here, it is like a secret indulgence... a guilty pleasure.
It is my journal online.
But Mr. M or one of my kids isn't going to find it under my mattress one day and say "GASP!!! You felt what?!?!?!?"  It is just me and the page and whoever chooses to join me (hi... thanks for stopping by).

Just because Mr. M is in recovery right now and working a program and using a sponsor and doing his steps and we are in therapy and we are making some progress does not mean we are healed or no longer an alcoholic home.  So this whole journal stays true.
It is still real.

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