Where've You Been?

I think about blogging often.  

I often think about blogging. 

And yet, something stops me.  

It feels a bit like an obligations sometimes.

Other times it feels like an indulgence I don't deserve.

Other times I have compared myself with all the other amazingly talented bloggers out there.

I want to be happy & blissful & creative & say fun, witty things that inspire people to want to be better "thems".  

I want to be insightful, whimsical, delicious, and brilliant.  

Or at least incredibly deep and melancholy and artistic... a dark genius.  

I am terribly afraid that I am none of the above.  

I am terribly afraid that I am untalented and sappy and boring.  

BORING.  

I used to have such high hopes for myself but I have lost my aspirations... I have lost my self. 

I don't just have LOW self-esteem, I have NO self esteem.  

I have a heavy heart and heavy hips, a heavy belly and and a big, heavy ass.